Generated by All in One SEO v4.9.9, this is an llms.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site.

# The Adventures of Dan and Tina

Narcissistic abuse and recovery explored and explained through a true first-person narrative.

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://danandtina.net/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Demons From the Past - Narcissistic Abuse Flashbacks](https://danandtina.net/demons-from-the-past/) - | Narcissistic Abuse Flashbacks Become Less Frequent, but can Pop-Up Anytime | It's been 8 years since I separated from Tina, and the ruminating, anxiety, panic attacks and deep depression I experienced the first few years have all subsided and she crosses my mind only infrequently, but it seems she's never completely done. I got
- [The Narcissist's Theft by Swindle](https://danandtina.net/the-narcissists-theft-by-swindle/) - Narcissists are takers. Mine felt she was more entitled than my brothers to a piece of my mom's estate. Denying her that provoked a narcissistic injury.
- [The Bachelor Party Guys](https://danandtina.net/the-bachelor-party-guys/) - As I recall and write my stories (and there are so so many of them), I'm forced to confront the biggest burning question, "what the fuck is wrong with me?" There was no one holding a gun to my head forcing me to stay in the humiliating, abusive relationship I was in with Tina. There
- [Avoiding Dissonance](https://danandtina.net/avoiding-dissonance/) - Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It's a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me
- [Regression on the Path to Healing](https://danandtina.net/regression-on-the-path-to-healing/) - I was nervous about moving in with Tina after selling my Mom's house. I'd be dependent on her and her mother. I asked Tina several times if she was sure about this arrangement. She continually assured me that it was the best course of action for us, for now - until we began the hunt
- [Narcissistic Abuse Affects Men, Too!](https://danandtina.net/on-being-a-male-victim/) - While most of what's written about narcissistic abuse deals with men tormenting female victims, but narcissistic abuse affects men, too. Here are resources.
- [Thoughts on Forgiveness and Breaking the Rules: A Message for Tina](https://danandtina.net/thoughts-on-forgiveness-and-breaking-the-rules-a-message-for-tina/) - | Apology and Forgiveness | The primary rule I've lived by for success in recovering from the damage of my dysfunctional relationship with Tina has been simple: No Contact. I don't know for sure whether Tina ever reads this blog, but since she occasionally sends friends and family over to Amazon to drop one-star reviews
- [Narcissistic Abuse: Trauma Bond is like Gambling Addiction](https://danandtina.net/narcissistic-abuse-trauma-bond-is-like-gambling-addiction/) - Amid a sea of losses, a gambling addict always chases the high of that next win and in victims of narcissistic abuse, a trauma bond is like gambling addiction.
- [Denial in Narcissistic Relationships](https://danandtina.net/denial-in-narcissistic-relationships/) - Denial in narcissistic relationships is a common defense mechanism employed by both narcissists and the victims of their abuse. This explains it all.
- [Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/symptoms-of-narcissistic-abuse/) - Do you have symptoms of narcissistic abuse? Breaking up up sucks and being cheated on hurts, but that's not the same as the damaging emotional abuse by an NPD.
- [Narcissistic Projection - What it is and how it Works](https://danandtina.net/narcissistic-projection-what-it-is-and-how-it-works/) - Narcissistic Projection is is a psychological phenomenon in which one attributes their own thoughts, feelings, deeds or characteristics onto another person...
- [Covert Narcissism or Borderline? NPD vs. BPD](https://danandtina.net/covert-narcissism-or-borderline-npd-vs-bpd/) - Is it Covert Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder? Maybe Both. BPD and vulnerable NPD are associated with an unstable sense of self...
- [What is Gaslighting? It's Among a Narcissistic Abuser's Favorite Weapons.](https://danandtina.net/what-is-gaslighting-its-among-a-narcissistic-abusers-favorite-weapons/) - What is gaslighting? It's one a narcissist's favorite weapons. Here's how it works, what it does to a victim and advice on recovering from it.
- [Dissecting On-Again, Off-Again Relationships](https://danandtina.net/dissecting-the-on-again-off-again-relationship/) - Unstable, on-again, off-again relationships are common in Cluster B (borderline or narcissistic) personality disorders. Why do narcissists follow this pattern?
- [What is a Histrionic?](https://danandtina.net/what-is-a-histrionic/) - What is a Histrionic? They're "drama queens," but might insist that they "hate drama." It's one strategy for Cluster Bs to obtain narcissistic supply.
- [Sex with a Narcissist](https://danandtina.net/sex-with-a-narcissist/) - Sex with a narcissist likely involves more than one motive. They efficiently use sex as both a form of narcissistic supply and a tool for manipulation.
- [Antisocial or Narcissist? How Traits of ASPD Overlap With NPD.](https://danandtina.net/antisocial-or-narcissist-how-traits-of-aspd-overlap-with-npd/) - Antisocial or Narcissistic Personality Disorders are overlapping conditions with many common traits like manipulation, lack of empathy, lying and risk-taking.
- [Understanding Cognitive Dissonance With a Narcissist](https://danandtina.net/understanding-cognitive-dissonance-with-a-narcissist/) - Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort people feel when they hold two or more conflicting beliefs or values. ery common with narcissistic abuse.
- [We Meet](https://danandtina.net/we-meet/) - I was two-months divorced and fresh back from an amazing trip to Ireland, the night I met Tina. I’d gone to Farmington to visit one of my oldest friends to regale him with tales of my adventures, have a few drinks and laughs. It was a warm June evening and the sun was just setting.
- [Brain Damage and Narcissism?](https://danandtina.net/brain-damage-and-narcissism/) - TBI and NPD? Data suggests certain types of brain defects may contribute to personality disorders. A link between Brain Damage and Narcissism is possible.
- [Top 5 Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder](https://danandtina.net/top-5-causes-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder/) - A Look at the Top 5 Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Other Cluster B Personality Types.
- [Narcissistic Idealization](https://danandtina.net/narcissistic-idealization/) - In narcissistic idealization a narcissist sees his or her partner as faultless; uses flattery & affection to create an intense but artificial sense of intimacy.
- [Why Narcissists Stir the Pot](https://danandtina.net/why-narcissists-stir-the-pot/) - How and why narcissists stir the pot for manipulation, control and narcissistic supply. Going about recovery from gaslighting and narcissistic abuse.
- [Book Deals - The Adventures of Dan and Tina Book on Sale](https://danandtina.net/book-deals-the-adventures-of-dan-and-tina-book-on-sale/) - | Deals on Narcissism Books! Limited Time Offers on The Adventures of Dan and Tina at Amazon.com | Hurry up. Right now, Amazon has two amazing deals going on different editions of The Adventures of Dan and Tina! The nearly 500-page, high-quality, glossy casement hardcover edition of The Adventures of Dan and Tina is selling
- [Healing Strategies After Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/healing-strategies-after-narcissistic-abuse/) - Healing from narcissistic abuse is HARD. It's not "time heals all wounds." Practical advice to use now to feel better and begin recovering from trauma.
- [Couples Counseling With a Narcissist](https://danandtina.net/taking-a-narcissist-to-couples-counseling/) - Is there any Value in Going to Counseling with a Narcissist? Unable to take responsibility or self-reflect they often do not hold up well in couples therapy.
- [Isolated Podcast: Men can be Victims, Too](https://danandtina.net/isolated-podcast-men-can-be-victims-too/) - Men can be Victims, Too. The Adventures of Dan and Tina book and blog were featured in an interview on the Isolated podcast.
- [The Shared Fantasy at the Heart of Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/the-shared-fantasy-at-the-heart-of-narcissistic-abuse/) - At the heart of narcissistic abuse is a shared fantasy and victims participate in their own abuse. The end of a relationship is just the start of understanding.
- [Free Kindle Edition (ebook) copy of Dan and Tina, this Weekend](https://danandtina.net/free-kindle-edition-ebook-copy-of-dan-and-tina-this-weekend/) - The Adventures of Dan and Tina: Enduring and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse is free this weekend! Hurry and get your free edition.
- [Random Tears - Do Narcissists Cry?](https://danandtina.net/random-tears-do-narcissists-cry/) - Do Narcissists Cry? They're generally skilled manipulators with feigned emotions among their favorite tools, but sometimes their tears come from genuine sorrow.
- [Narcissistic Triangulation Explained](https://danandtina.net/what-is-narcissistic-triangulation/) - What is Triangulation? This article explores narcissistic triangulation - what it looks like, why narcissists & emotional abusers do it and how it affects you.
- [Behind the Locked Door](https://danandtina.net/behind-the-locked-door/) - | Boundary-Breaking, Secrecy and Sex Abuse | I'd gotten back from work earlier than expected and found Tina in an odd mood. She seemed extra energetic and distracted. After the barest greeting and exchange of pleasantries, Tina announced that she needed some alone time. I'd just gotten back to the apartment and she explained that
- [Why???](https://danandtina.net/why/) - Tina pulled something amazing out of me that I didn't know existed and then she killed it. And when that special something was killed, so too was my capacity for love, affection, trust, faith and optimism. It's as if my affection was an organ, bloodied and battered from abuse and it was raw and hurt
- [My kind of Crazy - Narcissists and Codependents](https://danandtina.net/my-kind-of-crazy/) - "If you are, you're my kind of crazy," I said, not realizing how true that was - Pondering Similarities Between Narcissists and Codependents & Trauma Bonding
- [Book Now Available! Get Your Copy of The Adventures of Dan and Tina](https://danandtina.net/book-now-available-get-your-copy-of-the-adventures-of-dan-and-tina/) - A relationship with a cluster B disordered person can leave you feeling lost, broken, confused, humiliated and hopeless but there are things you can do to heal.
- [Trauma Bonding Explained](https://danandtina.net/the-trauma-bond-explained/) - What is a Trauma Bond? Narcissistic Abuse - How love-bombing, triangulation, intermittent reinforcement, ghosting and hoovering create addiction to one's abuser
- [Triangulation, Double-Time](https://danandtina.net/triangulation-double-time/) - Narcissist + Triangulation = Chaos, in the Blink of an Eye on St. Patrick's Day. Narcissists are drama queens.
- [Healing the Lasting Damage After Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/lasting-damage/) - Healing after narcissistic abuse takes more than time, alone. Long-lasting symptoms are physical as well as psychological and may be related to C-PTSD.
- [Grace Under Siege - A Novel About Narcissistic Abuse (Review)](https://danandtina.net/grace-under-siege-a-novel-about-narcissistic-abuse-review/) - I received an advance copy of Grace Under Siege for my comments and editorial review. I’ve read and wrote quite a lot on narcissistic abuse but this is the first work of fiction I’ve read tackling the subject and I didn’t know what to expect. Although billed as fiction and at times, surreal, the story
- [A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Manipulate - A Book Review](https://danandtina.net/a-mind-is-a-terrible-thing-to-manipulate-a-book-review/) - Michael Sunset's book, A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Manipulate is a raw memoir relating a classic tale of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse.
- [Trouble Piecing Together Relationships After Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/piecing-together-relationships-after-narcissistic-abuse/) - Love after a Narcissist? Sometimes, humanity seems a writhing, aimless mass of stupid, immoral, germ-infested, filthy creatures not worthy of this Earth. At least, that's the sort of view that comes forward in my darker moments, since beginning a long road to recovery from narcissistic abuse. No one is trustworthy. No one gets close. I'm
- [Free Love - Always Hunting for New Supply](https://danandtina.net/free-love/) - Narcissists expect to suffer losses as they are discovered. It's a lifelong repeated cycle, so They are always testing and hunting for new supply.
- [Now Available in Hardcover - The Adventures of Dan and Tina](https://danandtina.net/now-available-in-hardcover-the-adventures-of-dan-and-tina/) - The abuse cycle, how to spot it, and how to end it; Affirmation - You're not crazy; How to identify abusive behavior, such as triangulation and gaslighting.
- [Lies Hurt - Narcissism and Lying - An Introduction](https://danandtina.net/narcissism-and-lying/) - Narcissism and Lying: 1 or 2 lies doesn't add up to much, but with a narcissist whose reality is a web of dishonesty, the lies become overwhelming. Lies Hurt.
- [Out, in Puffs of Smoke](https://danandtina.net/out-in-puffs-of-smoke/) - The Devastating Effects of Ghosting, Silent Treatment, My Narcissist Fiance's Disappearing Act - Enduring and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse
- [Sickness, Withdrawals & Revelations](https://danandtina.net/sickness-withdrawals-revelations/) - A days-long drinking binge with my narcissist fiance ended in deathly illness, withdrawals and revelations. Exploring NPD, trauma bonding and addiction.
- [Do I get to fuck your Girlfriend?](https://danandtina.net/do-i-get-to-fuck-your-girlfriend/) - In my life, I'd observed on occasion, a witless or uncouth man come on to my date, but never with the frequency or astonishing level of disrespect I experienced when in public with Tina. We'd gone to our frequent watering hole, the Buffalo Bar and Grill and as was our routine, we were shooting pool
- [Mommy, Where do Narcissists come From?](https://danandtina.net/mommy-where-do-narcissists-come-from/) - Or: Narcissists and Dung Beetles The dung beetle is a fascinating, but bizarre creature. Its life revolves around a literal ball of shit that it rolls or carries with it everywhere. Most creatures, especially humans, find rather repugnant the idea of carrying around a ball of shit. The notion only becomes more repellent when we
- [Crack and Crime in Farmington](https://danandtina.net/crack-and-crime-in-farmington/) - | March 16th, 2016 | I was excited to discover a pool hall in Farmington. Scott's was still Tina's home away from home, so it was a convenient spot for an occasional date. It was a dive as pool halls go, but we'd gone there together once or twice and found the staff and patrons
- [A Chilly Reception at Scott's Farm - Narcissists, Harems & Triangulation](https://danandtina.net/a-chilly-reception-at-scotts-farm/) - “I slept with him once,” Tina confided quietly as we made our way. “Doug, I mean.” - Narcissists, Harems and Triangulation - It was all present from the start.
- [Photo Meltdown](https://danandtina.net/photo-meltdown/) - | Social Media Quirks are Common with Narcissists | In the early days of our relationship, when Tina was claiming not to have a Facebook account (she did), she had no qualms about any photos I might want to post of her and I on my Facebook wall. I had quite a collection of our
- [Like her Grandpa](https://danandtina.net/like-her-grandpa-narcissists-and-daddy-issues/) - Narcissists and Daddy Issues - They need relationships to be like ever-blameless child and doting parent or grandparent. Some might say "daddy/ mommy issues."
- [Skinny Dipping](https://danandtina.net/skinny-dipping-narcissists-and-impulsivity/) - Narcissists and Impulsivity | Histrionics are linked with exhibitionism and people with narcissistic personality disorders are often oblivious to consequences.
- [Two Tinas - Narcissists Split Personalities](https://danandtina.net/two-tinas/) - Narcissists Split Personalities - Trying to reconcile Tina's diametrical personalities into one was like trying to force the same pole of two magnets together.
- [Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder](https://danandtina.net/symptoms-of-narcissistic-personality-disorder/) - Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder - How to tell if someone has NPD. Are you a victim of narcissistic abuse? Narcissists aren't what most think.
- [Invitation to a Threesome - Narcissist Triangulation](https://danandtina.net/invitation-to-a-threesome/) - Narcissist Triangulation Tricks: Manipulation using other people.Tina wanted me to be aware that other people desired her. The lies and drama never stop.
- [Bingo](https://danandtina.net/bingo/) - July 3rd was the day before Tina was supposed to be Nate's date to his brother's wedding. I hadn't realized when I was asked about her going that it would ruin Independence Day for us, but, Nate and Tina would have fewer opportunities to see each other with him in California, so I tried not
- [Two Dicks at a Bar](https://danandtina.net/two-dicks-at-a-bar/) - | Narcissism, Harem-Building, Triangulation and Gaslighting | Updated | September 2016 | I witnessed and experienced things when in Tina's company I'd never come up against in any prior relationship. It got bizarre in some cases and I wondered how it was that Tina attracted such trouble. Some of it was just happenstance and perhaps
- [The Total Destruction of Life, the Universe and Everything](https://danandtina.net/the-total-destruction-of-life-the-universe-and-everything/) - The Grand Finale Narcissistic Discard, finally ending the relationship with a narcissist. Devastated, but that was when healing finally began.
- [When Mom Left](https://danandtina.net/when-mom-left/) - I was unable to save my mom's life. Personal tragedy, narcissists & opportunism are touched on as well as love bombing and narcissistic injury.
- [Babysitting a Public Drunk](https://danandtina.net/babysitting-a-public-drunk/) - The line between narcissism and alcoholism or drug addiction can be blurry. Neither alcoholics nor narcissists take well to having boundaries.
- [The men from Eritrea](https://danandtina.net/the-men-from-eritrea/) - July 29th, 2015 Merlin's Rest was long a favorite haunt of mine, especially in my heavy drinking days. It was a British Isles pub that featured a tremendous selection of whiskeys (and whiskys for those who enjoy a peaty scotch). I'd become acquainted with a number of regulars there over the years. One such was
- [Bruised and Broken](https://danandtina.net/bruised-and-broken/) - The early red flags with my narcissist ex were glaring, in retrospect, but obscured by love-bombing and word salad tactics. This was a pivotal moment.
- [Something Stinks Next Door](https://danandtina.net/something-stinks-next-door/) - | Drugs and Baby Oil - Unraveling a Narcissist-Addict's Strange Behavior | Tina's next door neighbors were an interesting clan and it was odd how small degrees of separation linked the interpersonal web between myself, my friends, Tina and the neighbors. Shortly after I'd stopped drinking, I met my friend Donovan after work in Farmington.
- [One Wedding Accomplished, one Averted](https://danandtina.net/one-wedding-accomplished-one-averted/) - My fiance spent a weekend in another man's hotel room, then expected everything to carry on as usual. Ghosting, Secondary Supply and Deception by a Narcissist.
- [The Music Mirror](https://danandtina.net/the-music-mirror/) - Mirroring is one of the first things a narcissist does when hooking a new source of narcissistic supply. It's part of the love bombing stage.
- [Promises, Promises](https://danandtina.net/vows/) - I was married for 17 years to a woman I'd been in a relationship with since I was about 19 years old. Before meeting Tina, it was the only long-term relationship I'd been in. I'd dated a couple girls and had one other short-term girlfriend - nothing of any consequence. Growing up, my parents were
- [With Friends like These...](https://danandtina.net/with-friends-like-these/) - Summer, 2015, I was invited to a party at the home of my friend Rich and his wife, Thea. It was a bacon-themed party and everyone was expected to bring something bacon-related. It was mostly food, but Kevin Bacon memorabilia was equally acceptable. Tina and I were spending the weekend together in the little top-floor
- [She Tells me Everything... Oh, I Don't ask About That](https://danandtina.net/she-tells-me-everything-oh-i-dont-ask-about-that/) - It's always bothered me how the media just lazily tacks "gate" onto the end of some pertinent word to denote a government scandal. Watergate (the first "gate" scandal) was the name of a hotel. The Nixonian scandal involved a break in at DNC offices at the Watergate Hotel, so it was the "Watergate Scandal." "gate"
- [Rock Fest](https://danandtina.net/rock-fest/) - It was just a week after "Nategate," I was barely moved in to the apartment and even though I was still committed to making things work, Tina and I were not really on solid ground. I was working on setting up counseling for us, but Tina had made plans with Amber months in advance to
- [He's Helping Me!](https://danandtina.net/hes-helping-me/) - I think I was going above and beyond in the patience and understanding departments. I entertained several options to correct the damage done to our relationship by Tina's imprudent actions. Tina was reluctant to cut ties with Nate. I told her I would never dream of asking her to cut him out of her life
- [Mirror Shades](https://danandtina.net/mirror-shades/) - A few weeks after moving out of the apartment, I was getting ready to fly to Miami to visit an old friend in hopes of resetting my mind. Going to Ireland after my divorce had worked some magic I hoped to at least partially recreate in Florida. I was living in a motel and my
- [Get Help for Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome](https://danandtina.net/get-help-for-narcissistic-abuse-syndrome/) - Narcissistic Abuse Victims Syndrome or just Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is not included in the current, official Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in the United States. The unofficial diagnoses are rather an observation, by numerous mental health professionals, of the same cluster of symptoms in people they've treated who were in relationships (romantic, family,
- [Just Order your Essentials](https://danandtina.net/just-order-your-essentials/) - It’s bad news for those of us waiting for a new toy or gizmo, but good news for people worried about the availability of staple supplies: Amazon is temporarily halting shipments from outside vendors to it’s warehouses to prioritize medical supplies and household essentials, like the highly-coveted toilet paper and sanitation products. Read
- [The California Caper](https://danandtina.net/the-california-caper/) - After Tina returned from her extended stay at the Nategate Hotel, she told me some things. First, after some tears and apologies for "being away from me" she told me that a big part of the reason she stayed those three nights with Nate was that she was binge drinking and didn't want me to
- [Six-Foot-Twelve](https://danandtina.net/six-foot-twelve/) - | Ignoring Social cues and Narcissistic Triangulation | I needed a break from the house and I made extra effort to keep Tina comfortable and at least somewhat entertained while she was staying there with me. I suggested we go out to the Cardinal to shoot pool. I bought Tina a beer and a Monster
- [Jesus Didn't Leave those Footprints](https://danandtina.net/jesus-didnt-leave-those-footprints/) - I initially guessed the footprints that appeared on my van windows must have been a prank by Maura on her way to work in the morning. "Cute, Maura. Weirdo. That was baffling at first," I texted Maura when I discovered them. I was getting ready for work myself and had stepped outside to have a
- [June 19th, Continued](https://danandtina.net/june-19th-continued/) - "So, tell me more about Ireland," the blonde said, lighting up another Marlboro 100 and absently flicking her foot over a crossed leg. “Do you have family there?" "Kind of,” I replied. “Hey. I just realized I don’t even know your name yet. I’m Dan.” I extended my hand. “Tina,” she replied, taking my hand
- [Texting](https://danandtina.net/texting/) - After a long night of heavy drinking, I'd spent the night at my friend Donovan's down in Farmington. I awoke in the afternoon, still feeling the effect of the prior night's revelry, but the blonde I'd met at Pizza Man the night before was my first thought upon waking. “What was that girl’s name I
- [Quicksand Rescue](https://danandtina.net/quicksand-rescue/) - It was one of our early dates. I'd driven out to Buffalo to spend at least a day and a night with Tina. Her mom was staying with Scott down in Farmington so we had the apartment to ourselves for the night. Tina didn't seem to have much explored her environs and wasn't sure where
- [First Date - Can I kiss You?](https://danandtina.net/first-date-can-i-kiss-you/) - | July 24th, 2015 | There were some false starts and cancelled dates and a week had gone by without any contact, so I’d given up on seeing Tina again by the end of July, but on a Friday at the end of the month I was going to Farmington to visit Donovan and I
- [Never Touch a Black Guy's Butt](https://danandtina.net/never-touch-a-black-guys-butt/) - Tina and I were shooting pool at the Hexagon. We went there because, of the two bars with pool tables in my Minneapolis neighborhood, the Hex was the only one that served hard liquor. The Cardinal was limited to beer and wine. I didn't drink, but Tina still loved her whiskey. There were two very
- [At the end of the lie Barrage](https://danandtina.net/at-the-end-of-the-lie-barrage/) - I couldn't, in the moment, think of a diplomatic way to say it, so, finally, I just said it. "What's with all the lies, Tina?" Then, I saw something that I realized in that moment I had not seen for some time. It was Tina. Lies exhausted, ammunition spent, her mask fell and she transformed
- [Psst and other Lies](https://danandtina.net/pssst-and-other-lies/) - Tina and I used to tell each other "I love you" so often that people who spent too much time around us might have been at risk for diabetes. Over time, we developed our own secret shorthand for it. I believe it began with Tina saying "pssst" to get my attention and when I responded,
- [Things Cheaters Say](https://danandtina.net/things-cheaters-say/) - If your significant other ever says something like "if you accuse me of cheating, you're going to make me do it," I guarantee all of the following is true: 1. Break up and leave immediately. Your gut was right. 2. That person has no morals 3. That person has already cheated on you. 4. That
- [Places I'm not welcome](https://danandtina.net/places-im-not-welcome/) - Amber was going away for a weekend to participate in the nuptials of her roommates and Tina was tapped to stay at the house and look after her pets. I recalled some discussion of this ahead of time and had a fuzzy memory of Amber had telling me I could hang out over there to
- [Unsent Messages](https://danandtina.net/unsent-messages/) - After Tina and I broke up and I went to Miami to see a friend and try to get out of the deep depression I was in. While wandering down a beach front lane the night I arrived, Scott started inexplicably and belligerently texting me. It was strange and upsetting. "I hear you have a
- [Storage Locker Blues](https://danandtina.net/storage-locker-blues/) - For over a year, I maintained a storage locker in Farmington. It wasn't a convenient location for any more than a month. It had made sense at the time Tina and I decided to rent it, since I'd just sold my Mom's house and was moving in with Tina as a stepping stone towards getting
- [Relationship by Committee](https://danandtina.net/relationship-by-committee/) - "Sometimes I feel like I'm in a relationship with a committee, instead of just you," I told Tina. It was a frequent concern of mine. Tina and her Mom existed in a state of homeostasis. They were accustomed to making decisions together. I was a new element in that dynamic and probably a disruptive one,
- [Political Avoidance](https://danandtina.net/political-avoidance/) - Narcissistic abuse leads to symptoms of complex post traumatic stress disorder, including severe reduction in self confidence and decision making ability. That can make it difficult to perform any work, but complex work that engages higher mental functions can be especially hampered (also see: Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse). Losing faith in my own mental prowess
- [Roadside Baggage](https://danandtina.net/lost-luggage/) - Tina and I were on our way back to Farmington one chilly evening when Tina interrupted our chat to excitedly point out some baggage ahead on the roadside. There were three matching pieces, strewn in a way that suggested it had fallen off a moving vehicle. "Pull over and get it!" Tina urged. I drove
- [Just like Tom](https://danandtina.net/just-like-tom/) - "I think it's funny that you feel threatened by Nate. Nate is no threat to you. Not by a long shot," Tina said. I realized the similarities with the relationship my ex-wife had with a friend of mine. Those two had their buddy dates with increasing frequency towards the end of my marriage. It was
- [Write it Out](https://danandtina.net/write-it-out/) - My therapist and other knowledgeable people suggest writing as part of the recovery from emotional abuse. It's definitely been important for my healing. With considerable time spent studying narcissistic abuse, I found that writing about it is nearly universal with victims, as though it is an instinctive healing behavior. Putting order to my thoughts and
- [What Everyone Should know About the Government](https://danandtina.net/what-everyone-should-know-about-the-government/) - New book by Dan and Tina Author Released Minneapolis – December 10th, 2019 Dan McGrath, author of the Adventures of Dan and Tina today announced the release of a new book on the foundations of government that aims to inspire people to be involved. In a mixed historical-contemporary context, its underlying message is that individuals
- [New Platform: DanMcGrath.net](https://danandtina.net/new-platform-danmcgrath-net/) - This blog isn't my only project. I am working on several and have more in development. All of these diverse projects and interests needed a home, so I created a new platform to serve as a launch-pad for this blog, disseminate news, research and commentary on my other enterprises as well as develop and showcase
- [Anthems for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse](https://danandtina.net/anthems-for-survivors-of-narcissistic-abuse/) - Not every bad or toxic relationship, nor every song about heartbreak involves a personality disorder, but I've noticed that I relate much more to certain songs about love gone bad since escaping my narcissistic abuser. I'd written before that most songs are love songs and after a breakup, every love song is about "her" (or
- [Psychic Triangulation](https://danandtina.net/psychic-triangulation/) - Tina and I were introduced to one of Amber's friends at their usual haunt, the Doghouse. Jessie was a heavy-set woman with native American or Hispanic features. She presented herself as a gifted psychic. She seemed very amiable and she and I were the only members of the party who weren't drinking. Early in the
- [Top 60 Blogs About Narcissism](https://danandtina.net/top-60-blogs-about-narcissism/) - Feedspot curates and ranks top blogs, youtube channels, podcasts and news sites across a multitude of categories and provides a convenient daily digest of favorites for subscribers. Feedspot recently ranked The Adventures of Dan and Tina in the Top 60 Narcissist Blogs and Websites on the Web and now offers this content in its digests.
- [Birthdays](https://danandtina.net/birthdays/) - It's Tina's birthday as I write. The last one of her twenties and the first one since I've known her when I don't have a gift for her. The first time, I bought her an antique jewelry box and took her out for a night on the town at some of the best, most expensive
- [Well, if it isn't Doug (again)!](https://danandtina.net/well-if-it-isnt-doug-again/) - About three months after I moved out, I drove past Tina's on my way to the storage locker I had unfortunately located in Farmington. I happened to notice a familiar, hooded dirtbag puffing a smoke out on the driveway. Go figure. Tina's barn-banging fuck buddy is already coming around, I thought. Douglas. her mom's sort-of-boyfriend's

## Pages

- [About](https://danandtina.net/about/) - The Adventures of Dan and Tina is a book and blog by narcissistic abuse survivor and author, Dan McGrath. The contents of the blog and book are based on true experiences. Some names and locations have been changed. Home Page Get an Advance copy of the Book Early subscribers to this blog's updates will be
- [Payments and Contributions](https://danandtina.net/payments-and-contributions/) - Thank you for your financial support of The Adventures of Dan and Tina, a DanMcGrath.net project. DanMcGrath.net follows a business model sometimes known as a "for-profit non-profit," and is not governed by non-profit regulations. It is a hybrid business of multi-media publishing and activism that relies on retail sales as well as free-will reader/member payments.
- [Reader Reviews of The Adventures of Dan and Tina](https://danandtina.net/reader-reviews-of-the-adventures-of-dan-and-tina/) - This Author had a lot to Teach Me - Amazon Buyer, Hrat "Absolutely stunning narrative of how the core desire to be a decent person and a “nice guy” can go completely off the rails. I am extremely grateful that he took the time to make this available." A Masterpiece for Men, A Game Changer
- [Subscriptions](https://danandtina.net/subscriptions/) - Weekly Digest Email Subscribe to be notified when new items are posted at DanAndTina.net with a digest email. Emails are sent no more than once per week. Verify your Email Click the link in the verification email to complete your subscription and begin receiving the weekly digest. If you don't see it in your inbox,
- [Privacy Policy](https://danandtina.net/privacy-policy/) - Privacy Policy for DanandTina.net Education on visitor privacy is important to us at DanandTina.net. This notice will inform you about the various types of personal information received and collected when you use and visit DanandTina.net, and how your information is safeguarded. We never sell or otherwise transfer your personal information to third parties. Use of
- [Thank You!](https://danandtina.net/thank-you/) - Thank you for helping to support DanandTina.net! Get an Advance copy of the Book Early subscribers to this blog's updates will be offered an advance "beta" e-format copy of the forthcoming book, The Adventures of Dan and Tina. Read some of this Site's most Popular Articles Where do Narcissists come From? Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality
- [Contact](https://danandtina.net/contact/)
- [Unsubscribe](https://danandtina.net/unsubscribe/)
- [Resources](https://danandtina.net/resources/) - Resources for understanding and recovering from narcissistic abuse Narcissist Abuse Support What the heck just happened? Horrific lies? Confusion? You are not alone… and you are not crazy! You might have been in a relationship with a narcissist or other type of emotional abuser. For now, forget trying to learn what label they were narcissist
- ["Lies Hurt" Teddy Bear](https://danandtina.net/lies-hurt-teddy-bear/) - "Lies Hurt" Teddy Bear Our plush teddy bear is a cuddly cutie that reminds us honesty is kinder, bearing a "Lies Hurt" t-shirt and red and blue ribbons. Here's a great gift with a simple but important message. Don't just grin and bear it - Get yours now.
- [Some Things that Helped my Recovery](https://danandtina.net/some-things-that-helped-my-healing/) - Circadian Optics Lattis Light Therapy Lamp | As Seen On Shark Tank | 10,000 LUX Ultra Bright LED | Full Spectrum UV Free | Bold Accent Piece | Turn On Your Day Traditional Medicinals Tea Heart W Hawthorn Nature's Bounty Fish Oil 1200 mg Twin Packs, 180-Count per bottle (360 Total Count) Rapid Release

## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://danandtina.net/category/uncategorized/)
- [how to](https://danandtina.net/category/how-to/)
- [CPTSD](https://danandtina.net/category/cptsd/)
- [abuse](https://danandtina.net/category/abuse/)
- [recovery](https://danandtina.net/category/recovery/)
- [NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder](https://danandtina.net/category/npd-narcissistic-personality-disorder/)
- [Cluster B](https://danandtina.net/category/cluster-b/)
- [Brain Damage](https://danandtina.net/category/brain-damage/)
- [Gaslighting](https://danandtina.net/category/gaslighting/)
- [Triangulation](https://danandtina.net/category/triangulation/)
- [Inspiration](https://danandtina.net/category/inspiration/)
- [Future Faking](https://danandtina.net/category/future-faking/)
- [Flying Monkeys](https://danandtina.net/category/flying-monkeys/)
- [Theft](https://danandtina.net/category/theft/)
- [Empathy](https://danandtina.net/category/empathy/)
- [Entitlement](https://danandtina.net/category/entitlement/)
- [Resources](https://danandtina.net/category/resources/)
- [Site News](https://danandtina.net/category/site-news/)
- [Love Bombing](https://danandtina.net/category/love-bombing/)
- [Books](https://danandtina.net/category/books/)
- [Trauma Bonding](https://danandtina.net/category/trauma-bonding/)
- [Secondary and New Supply](https://danandtina.net/category/secondary-and-new-supply/)
- [Lies](https://danandtina.net/category/lies/)
- [Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome](https://danandtina.net/category/narcissistic-abuse-syndrome/)
- [Mental Fog](https://danandtina.net/category/mental-fog/)
- [Physiological Effects](https://danandtina.net/category/physiological-effects/)
- [Politics](https://danandtina.net/category/politics/)
- [FEATURED](https://danandtina.net/category/featured/)
- [Secrecy](https://danandtina.net/category/secrecy/)
- [Mirroring](https://danandtina.net/category/mirroring/)
- [Double-Life](https://danandtina.net/category/double-life/)
- [Infidelity](https://danandtina.net/category/infidelity/)
- [Addiction](https://danandtina.net/category/addiction/)
- [Projection](https://danandtina.net/category/projection/)
- [Blame-shifting](https://danandtina.net/category/blame-shifting/)
- [Narcissistic Supply](https://danandtina.net/category/narcissistic-supply/)
- [Special Offers](https://danandtina.net/category/special-offers/)

## Tags

- [Cluster B](https://danandtina.net/tag/cluster-b/)
- [FEATURED](https://danandtina.net/tag/featured/)
- [Healing](https://danandtina.net/tag/healing/)
- [how to](https://danandtina.net/tag/how-to/)
- [NPD](https://danandtina.net/tag/npd/)
- [Personality disorder](https://danandtina.net/tag/personality-disorder/)
- [Recovery](https://danandtina.net/tag/recovery/)
- [recovering from narcissistic abuse](https://danandtina.net/tag/recovering-from-narcissistic-abuse/)
- [covert narcissism](https://danandtina.net/tag/covert-narcissism/)
- [gaslighting](https://danandtina.net/tag/gaslighting/)
- [triangulation](https://danandtina.net/tag/triangulation/)
- [crazymaking](https://danandtina.net/tag/crazymaking/)
- [power trip](https://danandtina.net/tag/power-trip/)
- [songs](https://danandtina.net/tag/songs/)
- [music](https://danandtina.net/tag/music/)
- [tainted love](https://danandtina.net/tag/tainted-love/)
- [silent morning](https://danandtina.net/tag/silent-morning/)
- [writing](https://danandtina.net/tag/writing/)
- [cptsd](https://danandtina.net/tag/cptsd/)
- [narcissistic victims syndrome](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissistic-victims-syndrome/)
- [Trauma Bond](https://danandtina.net/tag/trauma-bond/)
- [Baggage](https://danandtina.net/tag/baggage/)
- [luggage](https://danandtina.net/tag/luggage/)
- [empathy](https://danandtina.net/tag/empathy/)
- [opportunism](https://danandtina.net/tag/opportunism/)
- [entitlement](https://danandtina.net/tag/entitlement/)
- [Narcissism blogs](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissism-blogs/)
- [links](https://danandtina.net/tag/links/)
- [news feeds](https://danandtina.net/tag/news-feeds/)
- [I'm Still Standing](https://danandtina.net/tag/im-still-standing/)
- [Narcissistic personality symptoms](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissistic-personality-symptoms/)
- [diagnose](https://danandtina.net/tag/diagnose/)
- [how to tell](https://danandtina.net/tag/how-to-tell/)
- [friends](https://danandtina.net/tag/friends/)
- [psychic](https://danandtina.net/tag/psychic/)
- [supernatural](https://danandtina.net/tag/supernatural/)
- [narcissistic supply](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissistic-supply/)
- [foreshadowing](https://danandtina.net/tag/foreshadowing/)
- [warning](https://danandtina.net/tag/warning/)
- [red flags](https://danandtina.net/tag/red-flags/)
- [promises](https://danandtina.net/tag/promises/)
- [drugs](https://danandtina.net/tag/drugs/)
- [weed](https://danandtina.net/tag/weed/)
- [Lies Hurt](https://danandtina.net/tag/lies-hurt/)
- [validation](https://danandtina.net/tag/validation/)
- [narcissistic injury](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissistic-injury/)
- [Ghosting](https://danandtina.net/tag/ghosting/)
- [politics](https://danandtina.net/tag/politics/)
- [EMDR](https://danandtina.net/tag/emdr/)
- [CBT](https://danandtina.net/tag/cbt/)
- [Psychotherapy](https://danandtina.net/tag/psychotherapy/)
- [medications](https://danandtina.net/tag/medications/)
- [treatment](https://danandtina.net/tag/treatment/)
- [help](https://danandtina.net/tag/help/)
- [therapy](https://danandtina.net/tag/therapy/)
- [Adreniline](https://danandtina.net/tag/adreniline/)
- [cortisol](https://danandtina.net/tag/cortisol/)
- [hippocampus](https://danandtina.net/tag/hippocampus/)
- [amygdala](https://danandtina.net/tag/amygdala/)
- [jumpiness](https://danandtina.net/tag/jumpiness/)
- [symptoms](https://danandtina.net/tag/symptoms/)
- [Nate](https://danandtina.net/tag/nate/)
- [Doug](https://danandtina.net/tag/doug/)
- [Hypersexuality](https://danandtina.net/tag/hypersexuality/)
- [Cassidy](https://danandtina.net/tag/cassidy/)
- [Boundaries](https://danandtina.net/tag/boundaries/)
- [double-life](https://danandtina.net/tag/double-life/)
- [photos](https://danandtina.net/tag/photos/)
- [pictures](https://danandtina.net/tag/pictures/)
- [Facebook](https://danandtina.net/tag/facebook/)
- [social media](https://danandtina.net/tag/social-media/)
- [Word Salad](https://danandtina.net/tag/word-salad/)
- [secrecy](https://danandtina.net/tag/secrecy/)
- [Social cues](https://danandtina.net/tag/social-cues/)
- [harem](https://danandtina.net/tag/harem/)
- [weird behavior](https://danandtina.net/tag/weird-behavior/)
- [Hiding in plain sight](https://danandtina.net/tag/hiding-in-plain-sight/)
- [cheating](https://danandtina.net/tag/cheating/)
- [Reframing](https://danandtina.net/tag/reframing/)
- [prostitution](https://danandtina.net/tag/prostitution/)
- [Coronavirus](https://danandtina.net/tag/coronavirus/)
- [covid-19](https://danandtina.net/tag/covid-19/)
- [toilet paper panic](https://danandtina.net/tag/toilet-paper-panic/)
- [shopping](https://danandtina.net/tag/shopping/)
- [Men](https://danandtina.net/tag/men/)
- [male victims](https://danandtina.net/tag/male-victims/)
- [resources](https://danandtina.net/tag/resources/)
- [bloggers](https://danandtina.net/tag/bloggers/)
- [Scott](https://danandtina.net/tag/scott/)
- [sexual abuse](https://danandtina.net/tag/sexual-abuse/)
- [humiliation](https://danandtina.net/tag/humiliation/)
- [degradation](https://danandtina.net/tag/degradation/)
- [Rock Fest](https://danandtina.net/tag/rock-fest/)
- [targeting](https://danandtina.net/tag/targeting/)
- [addiction](https://danandtina.net/tag/addiction/)
- [mystery](https://danandtina.net/tag/mystery/)
- [manipulation](https://danandtina.net/tag/manipulation/)
- [Cognative Dissonance](https://danandtina.net/tag/cognative-dissonance/)
- [masks](https://danandtina.net/tag/masks/)
- [emotional development](https://danandtina.net/tag/emotional-development/)
- [Drama](https://danandtina.net/tag/drama/)
- [First Date](https://danandtina.net/tag/first-date/)
- [phone numbers](https://danandtina.net/tag/phone-numbers/)
- [threesome](https://danandtina.net/tag/threesome/)
- [withdrawals](https://danandtina.net/tag/withdrawals/)
- [counseling](https://danandtina.net/tag/counseling/)
- [couples counseling](https://danandtina.net/tag/couples-counseling/)
- [psychology](https://danandtina.net/tag/psychology/)
- [Discard](https://danandtina.net/tag/discard/)
- [Grand Finale](https://danandtina.net/tag/grand-finale/)
- [Narcissistic Abuse Cycle](https://danandtina.net/tag/narcissistic-abuse-cycle/)
- [Chris](https://danandtina.net/tag/chris/)
- [Stockholm Syndrome](https://danandtina.net/tag/stockholm-syndrome/)
- [Battered Woman Syndrome](https://danandtina.net/tag/battered-woman-syndrome/)
- [Battered Wife Syndrome](https://danandtina.net/tag/battered-wife-syndrome/)
- [Divorce](https://danandtina.net/tag/divorce/)
- [Family](https://danandtina.net/tag/family/)
- [Theft by swindle](https://danandtina.net/tag/theft-by-swindle/)
- [alcoholism](https://danandtina.net/tag/alcoholism/)
- [Histrionic](https://danandtina.net/tag/histrionic/)
- [Exhibitionism](https://danandtina.net/tag/exhibitionism/)
- [Impulsivity](https://danandtina.net/tag/impulsivity/)
- [Abraham](https://danandtina.net/tag/abraham/)
- [Selah](https://danandtina.net/tag/selah/)
- [Childhood Trauma](https://danandtina.net/tag/childhood-trauma/)
- [Similarities](https://danandtina.net/tag/similarities/)
- [Human Magnets](https://danandtina.net/tag/human-magnets/)
- [Buffalo Hotel](https://danandtina.net/tag/buffalo-hotel/)
- [Suicide](https://danandtina.net/tag/suicide/)
- [Silent Treatment](https://danandtina.net/tag/silent-treatment/)
- [Crystal Meth](https://danandtina.net/tag/crystal-meth/)
- [Justin](https://danandtina.net/tag/justin/)
- [Brendan](https://danandtina.net/tag/brendan/)
- [Jan](https://danandtina.net/tag/jan/)
- [Donny](https://danandtina.net/tag/donny/)
- [intuition](https://danandtina.net/tag/intuition/)
- [Flirting](https://danandtina.net/tag/flirting/)
- [Chaos](https://danandtina.net/tag/chaos/)
- [Daddy Issues](https://danandtina.net/tag/daddy-issues/)
- [Child-Parent Relationship](https://danandtina.net/tag/child-parent-relationship/)
- [Amazon](https://danandtina.net/tag/amazon/)
- [Book](https://danandtina.net/tag/book/)
- [Kindle](https://danandtina.net/tag/kindle/)
- [after abuse](https://danandtina.net/tag/after-abuse/)
- [sex](https://danandtina.net/tag/sex/)
- [Fiction](https://danandtina.net/tag/fiction/)
- [emotional abuse](https://danandtina.net/tag/emotional-abuse/)
- [Free ebook](https://danandtina.net/tag/free-ebook/)
- [Free book](https://danandtina.net/tag/free-book/)
- [shared fantasy](https://danandtina.net/tag/shared-fantasy/)
- [podcast](https://danandtina.net/tag/podcast/)
- [audio](https://danandtina.net/tag/audio/)
- [interview](https://danandtina.net/tag/interview/)
- [abused men](https://danandtina.net/tag/abused-men/)
- [Codependency](https://danandtina.net/tag/codependency/)
- [Idealization](https://danandtina.net/tag/idealization/)
- [Antisocial Personality Disorder](https://danandtina.net/tag/antisocial-personality-disorder/)
- [Borderline Personality Disorder](https://danandtina.net/tag/borderline-personality-disorder/)
- [Causes](https://danandtina.net/tag/causes/)
- [TBI](https://danandtina.net/tag/tbi/)
- [Traumatic Brain Injury](https://danandtina.net/tag/traumatic-brain-injury/)
- [Cognitive Dissonance](https://danandtina.net/tag/cognitive-dissonance/)
- [ASPD](https://danandtina.net/tag/aspd/)
- [Denial](https://danandtina.net/tag/denial/)
- [Forgiveness](https://danandtina.net/tag/forgiveness/)
- [cuckolding](https://danandtina.net/tag/cuckolding/)