The root flaw in my Reasoning
It’s been a struggle to understand my own psychology in my relationship with Tina. How could I have been so blind? Was it willful denial? Maybe in part. At the core, it’s a problem with first principles.
Everything I thought and observed was seen through a prism predicated on the notion that Tina loved me.
Believing as I do that the Earth is a sphere with gravitational pull, if I saw someone levitating or heard of a ship sailing off the edge of the Earth my mind would reject what I saw or heard. I would dismiss as untrue or seek alternate explanations for such phenomena.
The core flaw in my reasoning was the unshakable belief that Tina loved me. Since someone who loved me could not possibly be capable of the misdeeds I observed and inferred, my mind rejected reality, compartmentalized memories and readily accepted alternate, if unlikely explanations.
I came to mistrust my own eyes and ears. I doubted my own ability to reason. The core principle at the center of my universe was that Tina loved me. My perception of reality had to comport to that fundamental law.
I suppose it didn’t help that I’d ultimately put myself in the hands of two practiced and compulsive liars who were long accustomed to working in tandem.