What is Gaslighting? It’s Among a Narcissistic Abuser’s Favorite Weapons.

What is Gaslighting and how does it Affect a Victim of Narcissistic Abuse?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that is used to disorient and control a victim. It involves the manipulation of reality, causing the victim to question their own sanity and perception of events. Gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of abuse because it is subtle and difficult to detect, often leaving the victim feeling confused, powerless, and isolated.

Gaslighting could be looked at as a form of lying or deception, but it’s much more than that. It’s lying on steroids. It’s a long campaign of tearing down a person’s sense of reality, itself. The goal being to replace that objective reality with one of the narcissist’s own making and the replacement reality is built on shifting sands.

Gaslighting is commonly employed by narcissists, deliberately and unconsciously. It’s purpose is to control and dominate their partners or other individuals in their lives. Narcissists are often charming and charismatic, and they use this to their advantage in their relationships. They manipulate and control their victims by distorting reality, creating a false narrative that benefits them and undermines the victim’s sense of self and reality.

Narcissists will often cling to completely unbelievable narratives, not even flinching in the face of stone cold evidence to the contrary

That dogged persistence, over time, shakes a victim’s confidence in his or her own memories, beliefs and observations.

Gaslighting is achieved through a variety of tactics, including denying the victim’s experiences or feelings, manipulating the victim’s memory, and creating confusion or doubt in the victim’s mind. For example, a narcissist may tell their partner that they are overreacting or being irrational when they express their feelings or concerns. They may also tell their partner that they do not remember certain events or conversations, causing the victim to question their own memory and perception of reality. The narcissist may also use triangulation, pitting the victim against others and creating further confusion and doubt.

The effects of gaslighting can be devastating for the victim. Gaslighting can lead to a loss of trust in oneself and in one’s own perception of reality. Victims of gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and depressed. They may also experience feelings of isolation and hopelessness, as they may feel that no one understands their experiences or that they are alone in their struggle.

Gaslighting can also have a long-lasting impact on a victim’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Victims of gaslighting may start to doubt their own abilities and intelligence, leading to a loss of confidence and a sense of helplessness. Long term gaslighting can lead to a lack of faith in one’s own thoughts and actions. Even simple decisions may begin to seem daunting. Second-guessing can lead to decision paralysis. Victims may also develop a sense of shame and guilt, feeling that they are responsible for the abuse and that they have somehow failed in their relationship.

Furthermore, gaslighting can lead to a range of physical and emotional symptoms, including headaches, insomnia, anxiety, and depression. Victims may also experience a sense of dissociation or depersonalization, feeling that they are disconnected from their own thoughts and emotions.

Overcoming gaslighting requires a strong support system and a commitment to self-care and healing. Victims of gaslighting should seek out therapy or counseling to help them process their experiences and develop strategies for healing and recovery. It is also important for victims to build a support system of trusted friends and family members who can provide validation and support. Victims should also work on developing a strong sense of self and self-worth, learning to trust their own perceptions and feelings.

In addition, it is important for victims of gaslighting to set boundaries and hold their abuser accountable for their behavior. This may involve ending the relationship or seeking legal protection if necessary. It is important for victims to recognize that they are not responsible for the abuse and that they have the right to protect themselves and their well-being.

Overcoming the damage caused by gaslighting requires a commitment to self-care and healing, a strong support system, and a willingness to hold the abuser accountable for their behavior. Victims of gaslighting should never blame themselves for the abuse and should seek help and support to heal and move forward with their lives.

Gaslighting is a subtle and insidious form of psychological abuse that is often difficult to detect. Some common signs of gaslighting include:

Denial: The abuser denies the victim’s experiences or feelings, telling them that they are overreacting or being irrational.

Distortion: The abuser manipulates the victim’s memory, telling them that things happened differently than they remember.

Confusion: The abuser creates confusion and doubt in the victim’s mind, using triangulation and other tactics to make the victim question their own perceptions of reality and keep him or her off balance.

Blame-shifting: The abuser blames the victim for the abuse or for their own behavior, making the victim feel responsible for the abuse and guilty for their own feelings. This is a form of projection.

Isolation: The abuser isolates the victim from their support system, making it difficult for the victim to seek help or validation from others.

If you suspect that you are being gaslighted, you may want to seek out some support. This may involve talking to a trusted friend or family member, professional therapy or counseling, or reaching out to a support group for survivors of gaslighting or domestic abuse. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

In conclusion, gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that is used by narcissists to control and manipulate their victims. Gaslighting involves the manipulation of reality, causing the victim to question their own sanity and perception of events. The effects of gaslighting can be devastating, leading to a loss of trust in oneself, a sense of confusion and isolation, and a range of physical and emotional symptoms. It is important for victims of gaslighting to seek help and support, to hold their abuser accountable for their behavior, and to work on healing and recovery. By recognizing the signs of gaslighting and taking steps to protect themselves, victims can move forward with their lives and find a sense of peace and empowerment.

Read next: The Shared Fantasy at the Heart of Narcissistic Abuse