Covert Narcissism or Borderline? NPD vs. BPD

| Is it Covert Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder? Maybe Both |

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition characterized by intense and unstable emotions, difficulties in forming stable relationships, impulsive behaviors, and a distorted sense of self. Individuals with BPD may experience intense mood swings, fear of abandonment, and a chronic feeling of emptiness. This disorder is classified within Cluster B personality disorders, which also includes Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Interestingly, there are overlapping traits between BPD and NPD, particularly in the case of vulnerable or “covert” narcissists. These overlapping traits create a complex interplay of behaviors that can be exhibited by individuals with either disorder.

BPD is marked by several key characteristics, including emotional dysregulation, identity disturbance, fear of abandonment, impulsivity, and intense and unstable relationships. People with BPD often experience intense and rapidly shifting emotions, which can lead to impulsive behaviors and strained relationships. Their fear of abandonment can lead to desperate efforts to avoid real or perceived rejection, even if it means clinging to unhealthy relationships.

To many sufferers of BPD, what they feel is their reality. Powerful and unpredictable emotions can reconstruct their perception of reality, overriding their own eyes and ears and logical reasoning.

One of the most challenging aspects of BPD is identity disturbance. Individuals with BPD often struggle with a sense of self and may experience a fragmented self-image. This uncertainty about who they are can lead to an ongoing search for identity and a tendency to adopt the values and preferences of those they are close to.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, on the other hand, is characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive admiration, a lack of empathy, and a belief in one’s special entitlement. While there are distinct features that differentiate NPD from BPD in the diagnostic manuals, vulnerable or “covert” narcissists often display behaviors that overlap with BPD traits.

Vulnerable narcissists are individuals who have the core traits of narcissism but exhibit them in a more subtle and internalized manner. Unlike the classic “overt” narcissists who more-often display grandiosity and arrogance, vulnerable narcissists tend to struggle with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. They may use their narcissistic tendencies as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from their deep-seated insecurities.

The overlap between BPD and vulnerable narcissism becomes evident in the emotional volatility and fear of abandonment that both conditions share. Both are generally thoughth to be caused by childhood trauma and Individuals with BPD and vulnerable narcissism may experience intense mood swings and emotional dysregulation, leading to impulsive behaviors and unstable relationships. Their fear of abandonment can drive them to engage in manipulative tactics to maintain the attention and validation they crave.

Both BPD and vulnerable narcissism are associated with an unstable sense of self. While individuals with BPD struggle with identity disturbance, vulnerable narcissists may have an unstable self-esteem that fluctuates based on external validation. They may seek admiration and reassurance from others to bolster their fragile self-worth.

Like narcissists, individuals with BPD often experience intense idealization and devaluation of others, leading to turbulent relationships. Vulnerable narcissists, similarly, may alternate between seeking affirmation from others and pushing them away due to their fear of rejection.

The psychological phenomenon of “splitting,” which is commonly observed in BPD, can also be present in vulnerable narcissism. Splitting involves viewing people and situations in black-and-white terms, idealizing or demonizing individuals based on their current feelings. Borderlines tend to see others as either “all good” or “all bad,” and a person can flip-flop in a borderline’s mind between those two juxtapositions, just as vulnerable narcissists may switch between seeing others as good sources of validation and then devaluing them when they feel rejected or neglected.

So is it Covert Narcissism or Borderline Personality? Comorbidity and Overlapping Traits

Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, specifically in the case of vulnerable or “covert” narcissism, share certain overlapping traits that create a complex dynamic of similar behaviors. The emotional volatility, fear of abandonment, unstable self-identity, and difficulties in forming stable relationships are traits that are evident in both conditions. While the distinctions between BPD and vulnerable narcissism are important, understanding the commonalities can help shed light on the complex interplay of behaviors exhibited by individuals with these disorders, which may coexist in a person.

Professional intervention and therapy tailored to the individual’s needs may help in addressing the challenges associated with these conditions and promoting healthier coping mechanisms and relationships. While NPD is generally considered treatment-resistant, there may be some hope for people suffering from BPD. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, for example, was developed specifically for treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder and many have reported varying degrees of success with the method.

Read more about Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism, here.