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Lies Hurt – Narcissism and Lying – An Introduction

Lies Hurt – Narcissism and Lying

The diagnostic manuals don’t specifically allude to lying as a symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but anyone who’s dealt with narcissists knows that narcissism and lying go hand in hand.

Narcissistic Abuse is no small matter and generally speaking, it isn’t a “time heals all wounds” kind of injury. Recovering from narcissistic abuse requires conscious effort and may require some level of professional help, such as anti-anxiety medication or talk therapy.

Amidst the grand finale breakup with my narcissistic ex, Tina, I said, “every lie you told me was like a tiny cut on my brain and after a while, my brain was bleeding so much that it couldn’t focus on other important tasks like work. Every iota of mental energy was devoted to unraveling the hundreds and hundreds of lies and healing all of those little cuts.”

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The Adventures of Dan and Tina - Enduring and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

Enduring and Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

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"A game changer."
"Sometimes hard to read and also hard to put down!"
"We are not alone and we can move on."
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One or two lies doesn’t usually add up to much, but in a relationship with a narcissist who’s entire reality is built on an ever-growing web of dishonesty and invention, the lies become overwhelming.

Add to that a cruel and manipulative psychological game designed to keep you off balance, but hooked on your abuser and the constant flow of stress hormones and other responses of brain chemistry and you have the makings of measurable, physical brain damage.

Fortunately, it appears that at least a large part of the damage caused by narcissistic abuse can be repaired, with sustained effort and patience.

My story began with an unlikely romance that seemed to transcend the known world, but devolved into a Hell on Earth I couldn’t escape. I was utterly convinced, through all the tribulations, Tina and I were cosmically linked and “meant to be.” Laboring under such delusion opened me up to accepting the most outrageous abuses that I denied, rationalized, compartmentalized and even blocked from memory.

Learning About Narcissistic Abuse

Finally, stumbling upon a story written by another victim of narcissistic abuse, the scales began to fall from my eyes. Learning about Cluster B personality disorders and then reading the oh-so-familiar stories of others who’d tangled with them set me on a new road to recovery.

With my writings, I hope to shed some light on narcissistic abuse – what it looks like, how it works, what it does to a person and how to go about recovering from it.

I’m not a mental health professional and I’m not peddling cures, simply my own experiences. I hope it’s helpful, because I know the desperate agony and feel compelled to help alleviate it for others.

Next: We Meet – The Beginning of an Abusive Relationship

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  • Allegra

    Not sure why I’m commenting on this particular article, as I’ve read a few now; but my ex Dan kept me off kilter for years. Now almost 2 years after the break up, I was googling “why do I want to be alone all the time and not talk to people” and it lead me here. I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man. He’s got a healthy mind, our relationship is happy and drama free. But I still think of Dan. And despite knowing I love my partner, it’s becoming a problem that I’m not letting him close, and want to be alone all the time.
    He’s so understanding and we really talk about things. So he knows it’s hard for me to trust. I’m just tired of it. I want to feel. I don’t want to be numb and I can’t seem to snap out of it. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s giving me hope.

    • Dan

      You believe your Dan was a narcissistic abuser, I take it. I understand what you’re going through and wish I had a practical solution to offer, but I have had similar problems with intimacy. I’m finally to a place where I’m happy, functioning and productive. I’m doing a lot of things I really enjoy, but I can’t seem to connect like I used to. That’s the one, stubborn symptom I haven’t quite been able to kick yet. So, I think I understand your frustration. I actually have an article written about that very phenomenon, but I haven’t edited it for publication yet because I’ve been really busy getting my book ready for pre-release. Look for that article, soonish. If you haven’t picked up your copy of the Adventures of Dan and Tina yet, an advance ebook copy is available for free on Amazon through September 6th.

  • Vivian

    I am going back to Court on my family law matter. As crazy as this may sound, my ex was able to fool the Court with his lies and control. He controlled the whole thing, I fought him all the way , yet in the process he took all, unlawfully. As well as the 1st Trust Deed Leander to our home. I’m looking for help on this matter. I have been with a ten year marriage and I got nothing! We live in California! If you could help please or give me a person whom could.

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