The Adventures of Dan and Tina
Narcissistic abuse and recovery explored and explained through a true first-person narrative.
It’s been a struggle to understand my own psychology in my relationship with Tina. How could I have been so blind? Was it willful denial? Maybe in part. At the core, it’s a problem with first principles. Everything I thought and observed was seen through a prism predicated on the notion that Tina loved me. Believing as I do that
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I think I was going above and beyond in the patience and understanding departments. I entertained several options to correct the damage done to our relationship by Tina’s imprudent actions. Tina was reluctant to cut ties with Nate. I told her I would never dream of asking her to cut him out of her life forever, but “right now, he’s
Read moreMerlin’s Rest was long a favorite haunt of mine, especially in my heavy drinking days. It was a British Isles pub that featured a tremendous selection of whiskeys (and whiskys for those who enjoy a peaty scotch). I’d become acquainted with a number of regulars there over the years. One such was an east-African man named Abraham. He was a
Read moreAfter Tina returned from her extended stay at the Nategate Hotel, she told me some things. First, after some tears and apologies for “being away from me” she told me that a big part of the reason she stayed those three nights with Nate was that she was binge drinking and didn’t want me to see it. She said further
Read moreAmber was going away for a weekend to participate in the nuptials of her roommates and Tina was tapped to stay at the house and look after her pets. I recalled some discussion of this ahead of time and had a fuzzy memory of Amber had telling me I could hang out over there to keep Tina company. When the
Read moreIt’s Tina’s birthday as I write. The last one of her twenties and the first one since I’ve known her when I don’t have a gift for her. The first time, I bought her an antique jewelry box and took her out for a night on the town at some of the best, most expensive places I know in Minneapolis.
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It’s always bothered me how the media just lazily tacks “gate” onto the end of some pertinent word to denote a government scandal. Watergate (the first “gate” scandal) was the name of a hotel. The Nixonian scandal involved a break in at DNC offices at the Watergate Hotel, so it was the “Watergate Scandal.” “gate” has nothing to do with
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“I think it’s funny that you feel threatened by Nate. Nate is no threat to you. Not by a long shot,” Tina said. I realized the similarities with the relationship my ex-wife had with a friend of mine. Those two had their buddy dates with increasing frequency towards the end of my marriage. It was beginning to make me uncomfortable.
Read moreAfter Tina and I broke up and I went to Miami to see a friend and try to get out of the deep depression I was in, Scott started inexplicably and belligerently texting me. It was strange and upsetting. “I hear you have a problem with me?” He wrote in one message. I eventually drafted a reply, but never sent
Read moreDear former neighbors, Everything is just water under the bridge now, and I’m happy to make a couple new friends! Oh, and don’t worry. It should go without saying, but if we do get together and hang out I won’t try to perform anything on or for either of you. Just saying. Your new friend,Dan
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