The Adventures of Dan and Tina
Narcissistic abuse and recovery explored and explained through a true first-person narrative.
I couldn’t, in the moment, think of a diplomatic way to say it, so, finally, I just said it. “What’s with all the lies, Tina?” Then, I saw something that I realized in that moment I had not seen for some time. It was Tina. Lies exhausted, ammunition spent, her mask fell and she transformed before my eyes. Her voice
Read moreTina and I were shooting pool at the Hexagon. We went there because, of the two bars with pool tables in my Minneapolis neighborhood, the Hex was the only one that served hard liquor. The Cardinal was limited to beer and wine. I didn’t drink, but Tina still loved her whiskey. There were two very muscular black men shooting a
Read moreSummer, 2015, I was invited to a party at the home of my friend Rich and his wife, Thea. It was a bacon-themed party and everyone was expected to bring something bacon-related. It was mostly food, but Kevin Bacon memorabilia was equally acceptable. Tina and I were spending the weekend together in the little top-floor apartment of the Buffalo Hotel,
Read moreIf your significant other ever says something like “if you accuse me of cheating, you’re going to make me do it,” I guarantee all of the following is true: 1. Break up and leave immediately. Your gut was right. 2. That person has no morals 3. That person has already cheated on you. 4. That person is definitely already planning
Read more
As I recall and write my stories (and there are so so many of them), I’m forced to confront the biggest burning question, “what the fuck is wrong with me?” There was no one holding a gun to my head forcing me to stay in the humiliating, abusive relationship I was in with Tina. There were many times when it
Read more
I think I was going above and beyond in the patience and understanding departments. I entertained several options to correct the damage done to our relationship by Tina’s imprudent actions. Tina was reluctant to cut ties with Nate. I told her I would never dream of asking her to cut him out of her life forever, but “right now, he’s
Read moreJuly 29th, 2015 Merlin’s Rest was long a favorite haunt of mine, especially in my heavy drinking days. It was a British Isles pub that featured a tremendous selection of whiskeys (and whiskys for those who enjoy a peaty scotch). I’d become acquainted with a number of regulars there over the years. One such was an east-African man named Abraham.
Read moreAfter Tina returned from her extended stay at the Nategate Hotel, she told me some things. First, after some tears and apologies for “being away from me” she told me that a big part of the reason she stayed those three nights with Nate was that she was binge drinking and didn’t want me to see it. She said further
Read more
It’s always bothered me how the media just lazily tacks “gate” onto the end of some pertinent word to denote a government scandal. Watergate (the first “gate” scandal) was the name of a hotel. The Nixonian scandal involved a break in at DNC offices at the Watergate Hotel, so it was the “Watergate Scandal.” “gate” has nothing to do with
Read more
“I think it’s funny that you feel threatened by Nate. Nate is no threat to you. Not by a long shot,” Tina said. I realized the similarities with the relationship my ex-wife had with a friend of mine. Those two had their buddy dates with increasing frequency towards the end of my marriage. It was beginning to make me uncomfortable.
Read more