Unstable, on-again, off-again relationships are a hallmark of Cluster B disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. On-again, off-again relationships can be terribly damaging and often, they can be the result of a prolonged, repeated pattern of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to target very empathetic and conscientious people, because they can mistreat them longer, with less chance of them leaving.
Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It’s a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me at My Mom’s house, with
As I recall and write my stories (and there are so so many of them), I’m forced to confront the biggest burning question, “what the fuck is wrong with me?” There was no one holding a gun to my head forcing me to stay in the humiliating, abusive relationship I was in with Tina. There were many times when it
| Narcissists are Takers who Extract more than Supply | June 2018 | When it became clear that keeping my mom’s house wasn’t a viable option, Tina tried steering me away from using a realtor to sell the house. She said her parents had sold their old house in Eagan themselves and saved considerably on commissions. At first, Tina was
| Narcissism, Harem-Building, Triangulation and Gaslighting | Updated | September 2016 | I witnessed and experienced things when in Tina’s company I’d never come up against in any prior relationship. It got bizarre in some cases and I wondered how it was that Tina attracted such trouble. Some of it was just happenstance and perhaps she and I went to
| March 16th, 2016 | I was excited to discover a pool hall in Farmington. Scott’s was still Tina’s home away from home, so it was a convenient spot for an occasional date. It was a dive as pool halls go, but we’d gone there together once or twice and found the staff and patrons to be agreeable. It was
| Triangulation with a Member of a Narcissist’s Harem | Wednesday, September 9th 2015 was the day I met Scott and his son Doug at their Farmington estate. The day before, I’d tried a few times without success to reach Tina. That was a Tuesday. I hadn’t noticed it yet, but there was a pattern with Tuesdays. Tina was never