Write it Out

My therapist and other knowledgeable people suggest writing as part of the recovery from emotional abuse. It’s definitely been important for my healing. With considerable time spent studying narcissistic abuse, I found that writing about it is nearly universal with victims, as though it is an instinctive healing behavior. Putting order to my thoughts and memories is the primary use

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Avoiding Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It’s a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me at My Mom’s house, with

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The California Caper

After Tina returned from her extended stay at the Nategate Hotel, she told me some things. First, after some tears and apologies for “being away from me” she told me that a big part of the reason she stayed those three nights with Nate was that she was binge drinking and didn’t want me to see it. She said further

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Mirror Shades

Mirror Shades

A few weeks after moving out of the apartment, I was getting ready to fly to Miami to visit an old friend in hopes of resetting my mind. Going to Ireland after my divorce had worked some magic I hoped to at least partially recreate in Florida. I was living in a motel and my mail was still being delivered

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Narcissists are takers

The Narcissist’s Theft by Swindle

| Narcissists are Takers who Extract more than Supply | June 2018 | When it became clear that keeping my mom’s house wasn’t a viable option, Tina tried steering me away from using a realtor to sell the house. She said her parents had sold their old house in Eagan themselves and saved considerably on commissions. At first, Tina was

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Two Dicks at a Bar

| Narcissism, Harem-Building, Triangulation and Gaslighting | Updated | September 2016 | I witnessed and experienced things when in Tina’s company I’d never come up against in any prior relationship. It got bizarre in some cases and I wondered how it was that Tina attracted such trouble. Some of it was just happenstance and perhaps she and I went to

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