The Adventures of Dan and Tina
Narcissistic abuse and recovery explored and explained through a true first-person narrative.
For over a year, I maintained a storage locker in Farmington. It wasn’t a convenient location for any more than a month. It had made sense at the time Tina and I decided to rent it, since I’d just sold my Mom’s house and was moving in with Tina as a stepping stone towards getting a new home together. After
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| Ignoring Social cues and Narcissistic Triangulation | I needed a break from the house and I made extra effort to keep Tina comfortable and at least somewhat entertained while she was staying there with me. I suggested we go out to the Cardinal to shoot pool. I bought Tina a beer and a Monster Energy Drink for myself. Before
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“Sometimes I feel like I’m in a relationship with a committee, instead of just you,” I told Tina. It was a frequent concern of mine. Tina and her Mom existed in a state of homeostasis. They were accustomed to making decisions together. I was a new element in that dynamic and probably a disruptive one, but I believed that as
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Tina and I used to tell each other “I love you” so often that people who spent too much time around us might have been at risk for diabetes. Over time, we developed our own secret shorthand for it. I believe it began with Tina saying “pssst” to get my attention and when I responded, she just whispered “I love
Read moreTina and I were introduced to one of Amber’s friends at their usual haunt, the Doghouse. Jessie was a heavy-set woman with native American or Hispanic features. She presented herself as a gifted psychic. She seemed very amiable and she and I were the only members of the party who weren’t drinking. Early in the night, she said “You two
Read moreSummer, 2015, I was invited to a party at the home of my friend Rich and his wife, Thea. It was a bacon-themed party and everyone was expected to bring something bacon-related. It was mostly food, but Kevin Bacon memorabilia was equally acceptable. Tina and I were spending the weekend together in the little top-floor apartment of the Buffalo Hotel,
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I think I was going above and beyond in the patience and understanding departments. I entertained several options to correct the damage done to our relationship by Tina’s imprudent actions. Tina was reluctant to cut ties with Nate. I told her I would never dream of asking her to cut him out of her life forever, but “right now, he’s
Read moreJuly 29th, 2015 Merlin’s Rest was long a favorite haunt of mine, especially in my heavy drinking days. It was a British Isles pub that featured a tremendous selection of whiskeys (and whiskys for those who enjoy a peaty scotch). I’d become acquainted with a number of regulars there over the years. One such was an east-African man named Abraham.
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“I think it’s funny that you feel threatened by Nate. Nate is no threat to you. Not by a long shot,” Tina said. I realized the similarities with the relationship my ex-wife had with a friend of mine. Those two had their buddy dates with increasing frequency towards the end of my marriage. It was beginning to make me uncomfortable.
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A few weeks after moving out of the apartment, I was getting ready to fly to Miami to visit an old friend in hopes of resetting my mind. Going to Ireland after my divorce had worked some magic I hoped to at least partially recreate in Florida. I was living in a motel and my mail was still being delivered
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