Dissecting the On-Again, Off-Again Relationship

Unstable relationships are a hallmark of Cluster B disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. On-again, off-again relationships can be terribly damaging and often, they can be the result of a prolonged, repeated pattern of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to target very empathetic and conscientious people, because they can mistreat them longer, with less chance of them leaving. By sporadically

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Male Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

On Being a Male Victim

In the world of what’s written on narcissistic personality disorder and the victims of people possessed of it, there appears to be an imbalance of genders. Most writing on the subject chronicles male narcissists tormenting female empaths – at least when dealing with romantic relationships. It’s my studied opinion that the apparent gender bias is a result of cultural pressures

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Exchanging wedding rings

Promises, Promises

I was married for 17 years to a woman I’d been in a relationship with since I was about 19 years old. Before meeting Tina, it was the only long-term relationship I’d been in. I’d dated a couple girls and had one other short-term girlfriend – nothing of any consequence. Growing up, my parents were in a perpetual on-again-off-again cycle

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Handcuffed together

Trauma Bonding Explained

Narcissists (and other emotional abusers) rely on manipulation of primal emotions, love and fear to hook their victims. A rudimentary study of psychology introduces us to the concepts of positive and negative reinforcement, which narcissistic manipulators employ, but the most powerful, dangerous and damaging psychological reinforcement is random and intermittent. The narcissistic abuse cycle begins with “love bombing,” where the

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Sheet music

Anthems for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse

Not every bad or toxic relationship, nor every song about heartbreak involves a personality disorder, but I’ve noticed that I relate much more to certain songs about love gone bad since escaping my narcissistic abuser. I’d written before that most songs are love songs and after a breakup, every love song is about “her” (or “him” as the case may

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Write it Out

My therapist and other knowledgeable people suggest writing as part of the recovery from emotional abuse. It’s definitely been important for my healing. With considerable time spent studying narcissistic abuse, I found that writing about it is nearly universal with victims, as though it is an instinctive healing behavior. Putting order to my thoughts and memories is the primary use

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