The Adventures of Dan and Tina
Narcissistic abuse and recovery explored and explained through a true first-person narrative.
My therapist and other knowledgeable people suggest writing as part of the recovery from emotional abuse. It’s definitely been important for my healing. With considerable time spent studying narcissistic abuse, I found that writing about it is nearly universal with victims, as though it is an instinctive healing behavior. Putting order to my thoughts and memories is the primary use
Read moreI couldn’t, in the moment, think of a diplomatic way to say it, so, finally, I just said it. “What’s with all the lies, Tina?” Then, I saw something that I realized in that moment I had not seen for some time. It was Tina. Lies exhausted, ammunition spent, her mask fell and she transformed before my eyes. Her voice
Read moreI was nervous about moving in with Tina after selling my Mom’s house. I’d be dependent on her and her mother. I asked Tina several times if she was sure about this arrangement. She continually assured me that it was the best course of action for us, for now – until we began the hunt for our more permanent marital
Read moreTina and I were shooting pool at the Hexagon. We went there because, of the two bars with pool tables in my Minneapolis neighborhood, the Hex was the only one that served hard liquor. The Cardinal was limited to beer and wine. I didn’t drink, but Tina still loved her whiskey. There were two very muscular black men shooting a
Read moreTina and I were introduced to one of Amber’s friends at their usual haunt, the Doghouse. Jessie was a heavy-set woman with native American or Hispanic features. She presented herself as a gifted psychic. She seemed very amiable and she and I were the only members of the party who weren’t drinking. Early in the night, she said “You two
Read moreSummer, 2015, I was invited to a party at the home of my friend Rich and his wife, Thea. It was a bacon-themed party and everyone was expected to bring something bacon-related. It was mostly food, but Kevin Bacon memorabilia was equally acceptable. Tina and I were spending the weekend together in the little top-floor apartment of the Buffalo Hotel,
Read moreIf your significant other ever says something like “if you accuse me of cheating, you’re going to make me do it,” I guarantee all of the following is true: 1. Break up and leave immediately. Your gut was right. 2. That person has no morals 3. That person has already cheated on you. 4. That person is definitely already planning
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Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It’s a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me at My Mom’s house, with
Read moreIn my life, I’d observed on occasion, a witless or uncouth man come on to my date, but never with the frequency or astonishing level of disrespect I experienced when in public with Tina. We’d gone to our frequent watering hole, the Buffalo Bar and Grill and as was our routine, we were shooting pool and drinking whiskey. We struck
Read moreTina pulled something amazing out of me that I didn’t know existed and then she killed it. And when that special something was killed, so too was my capacity for love, affection, trust, faith and optimism. It’s as if my affection was an organ, bloodied and battered from abuse and it was raw and hurt to be touched. I didn’t
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