The Total Destruction of Life, the Universe and Everything

The Irish Fair in St. Paul was an event I looked forward to annually. It was taking place on Harriet Island the weekend that Tina and I had our first and last session of couples’ counseling. I was planning to take Tina to it, but she was staying at her friend Amber’s on pet-sitting duty over that particular weekend and

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Dissecting the On-Again, Off-Again Relationship

Unstable relationships are a hallmark of Cluster B disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. On-again, off-again relationships can be terribly damaging and often, they can be the result of a prolonged, repeated pattern of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to target very empathetic and conscientious people, because they can mistreat them longer, with less chance of them leaving. By sporadically

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Behind the Locked Door

| Boundary-Breaking, Secrecy and Sex Abuse | I’d gotten back from work earlier than expected and found Tina in an odd mood. She seemed extra energetic and distracted. After the barest greeting and exchange of pleasantries, Tina announced that she needed some alone time. I’d just gotten back to the apartment and she explained that she didn’t want me to

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With Friends like These…

Summer, 2015, I was invited to a party at the home of my friend Rich and his wife, Thea. It was a bacon-themed party and everyone was expected to bring something bacon-related. It was mostly food, but Kevin Bacon memorabilia was equally acceptable. Tina and I were spending the weekend together in the little top-floor apartment of the Buffalo Hotel,

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Avoiding Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It’s a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me at My Mom’s house, with

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