The Book is Here!

Now Available in Hardcover – The Adventures of Dan and Tina

Do you want to understand a narcissistic relationship? Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is often underestimated and misunderstood as arrogance or simple self-absorption – because of how it’s depicted in TV shows and movies. But the real condition – and its consequences – are much more insidious. Histrionic, borderline or narcissistic, the fallout from a relationship with a cluster B personality

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trauma bonding

Trauma Bonding Explained

| Updated | What is a Trauma Bond? Becoming Addicted to one’s Abuser | What is a trauma bond? This article examines how love-bombing, triangulation, intermittent reinforcement, ghosting and hoovering create a powerful addiction to one’s abuser Narcissists (and other emotional abusers) rely on manipulation of primal emotions, love and fear to hook their victims. A rudimentary study of psychology

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A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Manipulate – A Book Review

Michael Sunset’s book, A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Manipulate is a raw memoir relating how he was systematically manipulated by his ex-wife, her father and his own mother and sister to believe he had a mental illness. It’s a classic tale of gaslighting, reminiscent of the namesake film Gas Light that spawned the psychological term. His ex-wife deftly

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Dissecting the On-Again, Off-Again Relationship

Unstable relationships are a hallmark of Cluster B disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. On-again, off-again relationships can be terribly damaging and often, they can be the result of a prolonged, repeated pattern of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to target very empathetic and conscientious people, because they can mistreat them longer, with less chance of them leaving. By sporadically

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Jesus Didn't Leave Those Footprints

Jesus Didn’t Leave those Footprints

I initially guessed the footprints that appeared on my van windows must have been a prank by Maura on her way to work in the morning. “Cute, Maura. Weirdo. That was baffling at first,” I texted Maura when I discovered them. I was getting ready for work myself and had stepped outside to have a cigarette in the morning sun.

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Exchanging wedding rings

Promises, Promises

I was married for 17 years to a woman I’d been in a relationship with since I was about 19 years old. Before meeting Tina, it was the only long-term relationship I’d been in. I’d dated a couple girls and had one other short-term girlfriend – nothing of any consequence. Growing up, my parents were in a perpetual on-again-off-again cycle

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Write it Out

My therapist and other knowledgeable people suggest writing as part of the recovery from emotional abuse. It’s definitely been important for my healing. With considerable time spent studying narcissistic abuse, I found that writing about it is nearly universal with victims, as though it is an instinctive healing behavior. Putting order to my thoughts and memories is the primary use

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Avoiding Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance is a state of conflicted thoughts, ideas or realities. Or, a confused, frightening mental conflict between evidence of reality and contrary beliefs. It’s a difficult, even traumatizing phenomenon that I believe my subconscious mind was trying to prevent by avoiding information that would bring the dissonance about. Tina had been staying with me at My Mom’s house, with

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The California Caper

After Tina returned from her extended stay at the Nategate Hotel, she told me some things. First, after some tears and apologies for “being away from me” she told me that a big part of the reason she stayed those three nights with Nate was that she was binge drinking and didn’t want me to see it. She said further

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