Taking a Narcissist to Couples Counseling

Tina and I had visited my therapist together to figure out our best course to move forward on relationship counseling. At the time, Tina appeared committed to repairing the critically damaged trust between us. Jeff, my therapist had asked her about why she had lied to me when she snuck off with Nate to spend three nights in his hotel

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Two Dicks at a Bar

| Narcissism, Harem-Building, Triangulation and Gaslighting | Updated | September 2016 | I witnessed and experienced things when in Tina’s company I’d never come up against in any prior relationship. It got bizarre in some cases and I wondered how it was that Tina attracted such trouble. Some of it was just happenstance and perhaps she and I went to

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Dissecting the On-Again, Off-Again Relationship

Unstable relationships are a hallmark of Cluster B disorders, like borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. On-again, off-again relationships can be terribly damaging and often, they can be the result of a prolonged, repeated pattern of narcissistic abuse. Narcissists tend to target very empathetic and conscientious people, because they can mistreat them longer, with less chance of them leaving. By sporadically

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Behind the Locked Door

| Boundary-Breaking, Secrecy and Sex Abuse | I’d gotten back from work earlier than expected and found Tina in an odd mood. She seemed extra energetic and distracted. After the barest greeting and exchange of pleasantries, Tina announced that she needed some alone time. I’d just gotten back to the apartment and she explained that she didn’t want me to

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Jesus Didn't Leave Those Footprints

Jesus Didn’t Leave those Footprints

I initially guessed the footprints that appeared on my van windows must have been a prank by Maura on her way to work in the morning. “Cute, Maura. Weirdo. That was baffling at first,” I texted Maura when I discovered them. I was getting ready for work myself and had stepped outside to have a cigarette in the morning sun.

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Smoking Crack

Crack and Crime in Farmington

I was excited to discover a pool hall in Farmington. Scott’s was still Tina’s home away from home, so it was a convenient spot for an occasional date. It was a dive as pool halls go, but we’d gone there together once or twice and found the staff and patrons to be agreeable. It was cheap, too. Even though we

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Relationship Committee

Relationship by Committee

“Sometimes I feel like I’m in a relationship with a committee, instead of just you,” I told Tina. It was a frequent concern of mine. Tina and her Mom existed in a state of homeostasis. They were accustomed to making decisions together. I was a new element in that dynamic and probably a disruptive one, but I believed that as

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Handcuffed together

Trauma Bonding Explained

Narcissists (and other emotional abusers) rely on manipulation of primal emotions, love and fear to hook their victims. A rudimentary study of psychology introduces us to the concepts of positive and negative reinforcement, which narcissistic manipulators employ, but the most powerful, dangerous and damaging psychological reinforcement is random and intermittent. The narcissistic abuse cycle begins with “love bombing,” where the

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